it bothers me how, whenever someone asks me if i'm an RA, i feel this need to try and explain to them why i chose not to be, like i should have a good excuse for why i would make such a selfish decision. and then they always feel like it's their job to console me, as if there's no way in the world i could possibly still feel like a good person. you know. since i'm not an RA. "it's definitely not for everyone," they say. like irresponsible people, and people who get in trouble a lot, and people who hate other people. but that's okay, you know. we need both kinds of people in the world. the bottom line is usually them attempting the silver lining of encouraging me to think about how much free time i have. you know. since i'm not an RA.
the weird thing about not being an RA and still living on campus is that i don't feel responsible to anyone. it's a strange independence, even more so than i would if i lived off campus, because then, i would probably have roommates and we would cook and share and coordinate things and be home sometimes and live a nice life. independent, but not in a good way. closer to unnecessary. i miss being good for something. needed. by people. by anyone. that's selfish. but there it is. cool.
i think i should go write my locke paper now. okay good.
4 comments:
You are needed Susan!
i concur :)
cmon- what happened to you being the RA to the RAs... weren't you and Reg going to do that? I thought it was a brilliant idea.
You are needed- and as people start settling into their "RA" rolls and emerge from being shut up in the dorms, they'll be more accessible to prove that fact to you.
:)
hey susie! it's laura bradley here... soooo... i just stalked you on facebook and saw you had a blog and then read this and felt like i needed to respond. so here goes...
as you know, i was not an RA, so i know how you feel. it was definitely weird to live on campus and not be an RA because it isolates you in your dorm to some degree, and usually all your other friends ARE in fact RAs, and they have their own special group of RAs, making it just a little more difficult.
but let me assure you, you are needed, in your dorm, for example, to the underclassman who don't like to or don't want to confide in or be around their RAs. and also, you especially are needed by FOLK CHOIR, of which i'm sure you are the best president ever. and you are needed by all your other million and one commitments. i'm not sure what your other stuff is this year, like if you're working for kollman or working at starbucks, but i am sure you are always super super busy. you and i both know that you chose to not be an RA for the right reasons, and it does not make you irresponsible or selfish. there are other ways to serve and spend your time in completely unselfish ways as a non-RA senior on campus.
well, this ended up being longer than i thought, probably because i remember so well from last year how you feel now..
anyway, i love and miss you and i hope all is well at notre dame!!!
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